UNANSWERED PRAYERS

I have made a concious effort to keep this blog light.  To be honest, I don't really have many dark areas of my life.  I'm lucky that way.  I have been blessed not to have experienced most of the hard knocks that people go through. One emotion I wasn't able to avoid though was heartbreak.  I know most single girls out there can relate to this......that certain person who, no matter what they have put you through, you still just can't get over.  The person who, when their number pops up on your phone, your heart still stops.  I got one of those texts today.............................

I was having lunch on Mass Street with Hudy (wings again....ugh) and I heard my phone alert in my purse. I glanced at it, figuring it was Bonnie or Coach O or Lora or my Mom, and my heart sank.  I had to play it cool cause I knew Hudy would get mad I still communicated "him" from time to time. She was there for the mornings when I couldn't get out of bed and she was there for the fights that would send my into a tailspin. She held my hair when I was sick over him. Like a true best friend, she has no tolorence. I know I shouldn't either. To be honest, I had erased his information, but I would recognize that number anywhere.  I don't know what makes him think he can text me after weeks/months/days and act like no time has passed. Probably because I let him.   His message was simple. I don't remember exactly he said but it was basically, "What's up? Haven't heard from you...I still think about you."   Puke.  Did I respond? I won't say....cause I know there are some people who read this blog who might have an opinion (you know who you are). But whatever my response was, I now feel at peace because God was about to prove, once again, that he has my back.. Even in my darkest moments, he shines his light........

When I left lunch I headed to go re-new my passport and guess who was there?.... This guy's woman. The one he left me for.  Ironic  because I haven't seen her in a over a YEAR. She doesn't even live in my town!  I wanted desperately to show her my phone and the texts. Maybe I could spare her the same heartache he had cast on me.  I didn't though. I sat quietly next to her as she told me she was getting her passport so they could go on a vacation together. Puke again.  I walked away from the post office feeling reflective of what had just happened.  I remembered the nights I would lay awake and pray. Pray that God would make him mine. Pray that he would come home. Pray that he would call. Those prayers were never really answered. But as I walked away from her I realized that they weren't answered for a reason. God had a better plan for me.  I actually felt sorry for her.  She was planning the vacation of a lifetime (and probably paying for it. HA!)  and her boyfriend was still texting his ex.  Garth Brooks said it best, "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

I admit it....I lost my faith when I was younger.  Actually, a lot of that had to do with him. I kept thinking there couldn't be a God.....or if there was one, he wasn't listening. Otherwise he would be mine.  It has taken me some time to rebuild my trust in God, but days like today make me realize that he is for sure there. And he is GOOD.

On a lighter note.....check out my passport photo..........$185.00 and they wouldn't let me smile!!!! GHEESH!!!!!!!

Smooches,

THE DARLING DIVA